You may have noticed that there was a rather large gap between my last post and the one before that. It’s certainly not for lack of things to talk about, but you see, I made this rather psychotic decision when starting this site that I was not going to be anonymous. That I was going to say my piece and to hell with what anyone thought. I also really like getting attention and thought that maybe plastering my name all over a little piece of the internet would help me out in that regard.
I don’t really regret the decision to not be anonymous because I really feel as though you guys are getting to know *me*, not just some persona that’s out there on the web. With that being said, I think maybe I’m more of a “persona” than I would be if I were anonymous because then I really could say everything that made up my life. As it stands now, I always think when I’m writing what if so-and-so found this website, would I really want them to read what I’m saying about them? Or about me? And so whether I like it or not, I do censor, to a degree.
There has been a lot going on in my life lately. A lot of things that have made me question where I am, what I’m doing, who I am, what I feel. These things revolve around everything–my job, my family, my friends, the various male-types in my life in whatever capacity. There are a lot of things that I could write about, but I feel like I need to keep some part of myself sacred. I put a lot of myself out here to be judged, and there are just some things that I don’t think I could possibly handle any criticism or “tough love” on right now. I try to be a strong person, but we all have our Achilles heels, and I seem to have them in spades lately.
So for now, I’ll leave you with this thought that I always remind myself of when things start to seem impossibly muddled and I don’t think I’ll ever see the light.
Wrote this song:
About this guy:
And now she’s engaged (married? I dunno…) to this guy:
Gratuitous Ab Shot..
Kinda makes you think that everything does turn out okay in the end, right?